Showing all posts in Own The Crazy

So, let me preface this post by saying that I am in no way trying to be insensitive to people suffering from depression and other mental illness. I myself battle depression every day. However, I can not just stand by while some people give mental illness a bad reputation.

I’ve battled with depression in silence for most of my life. The past year and a half has been the hardest, but by the end of it, I was taking control back and owning my mental illness. Taking control back meant admitting the truth and being honest with myself. For a lot of us, that’s not always easy.

I needed someone to hold me accountable.

I was exploring a lot of types of therapy a year ago. Therefore, I was also doing a lot of soul searching. It became painfully obvious to me that I was sometimes using my depression as a crutch. I would do something really shitty to someone or say something really mean, and I expected it to just be okay because “I was going through stuff.” And that is NOT OKAY.

There are a lot of people out there fighting to remove the stigma of mental illness. The lines of dialogue have been opened, and we as a society are finally starting to acknowledge that it is okay to not be okay. But there is still so much that has to be done. Mental health still has barriers it has to fight through. The price tags on seeking treatment still cost way too much than it should. There are still far too many people who do not feel like there’s a safe space to seek out the help they desperately need. There is still work that needs to be done. We cannot afford to take steps backwards while we’re still climbing the toughest part of the mountain.

If we use our depression as an excuse to hurt or tear down the people who love us, we’re no better than the people who refuse to learn and understand what depression really is. It’s possible to hurt without needing to hurt someone else. We all have bad days. No one is expecting you to be perfect, but if you’re not willing to own your actions and look for a better way to work through them, then you’re going to lose a lot of people you care about.

I did.

For a long time, I put my own anger and pain before anything else, and I hurt a lot of people in the process. It’s easy to make excuses and say things like “They weren’t my real friends anyway.” The reality is, I allowed my depression to control my emotions and my actions. I did and said a lot of things I’m not proud of. I can say I’m sorry now and make amends to be better, but that may not be enough for some people. And I get that. The truth is, not everyone is going to understand your journey.

Depression is a powerful evil that shows no mercy and tries to destroy everything in its wake. Don’t let it destroy the relationships in your life that matter most to you. You CAN take control back, and with a little hard work, YOU WILL. I believe in you.

Just remember, it’s okay to not be okay, but don’t let that turn you into an asshole.

You would go to the doctor for a broken arm. You would take time off from work if you developed a life-threatening illness. Why is it so hard for us to do the same for our mental health?

Growing up, mental health wasn’t something that was talked about — not in my school, and certainly not in my family. Movies and television shows idealized the idea of being able to “toughen up” when things got hard, and I grew up believing that being strong meant not ever acknowledging my pain and anger. Nobody specifically told me to think this way, but society made it so that it was impossible for me not to.

At this point in my life, there are few things that matter to me more than mental health. Mental health is so important, and we are not talking about it enough. There are 40 million adults in the United States that are affected by anxiety disorder, and more than half of those individuals go untreated. On the other hand, there are 322 million people worldwide that suffer from depression. On average, there are 129 suicides per day.

The numbers are outrageous and frightening. Despite that, there is still a stigma that surrounds mental illness. My biggest goal with this blog would be to remove that stigma once and for all. I plan on using this space to discuss mental health, emotional wealth, and trying to find your best self. We’re all struggling a little bit with something, but none of us are alone.

I’m no expert, but I do understand. My faith has been tested more than a few times. I’ve lost a lot of people I cared about, and I’ve had to pick myself up from the ground way too many times. I felt like I was in the dark for a long time. It wasn’t until I connected with others like me that felt a lot of the same things I did that I finally started to find my voice again.

I still work on my anxiety and depression every day. I still have bad days. I just spend more of my time now trying to focus on the good days. What works for me may not necessarily work for you, but I’d like to try and offer some support if I can. I’m going to explore different companies and sources. I want to learn it all so that I can better help other people. We’ll learn together.

Don’t give up. Fight the fight. All the cheesy stuff is repetitive because it works. Check in with your friends. Force yourself to get out of bed. If it’s the only productive thing you did all day, give yourself a pat on the back. Trust me, that counts! Reach out. Be kind to others, but more importantly, be kind to yourself.

They might call us crazy, but I’ve decided to take back that word. No more hiding behind the stigma. Let’s own the crazy!